Clean living

I don't even know where to start. The beginning is so long ago and there have been so many ups and downs... There is too much, I sum up. 

6 years ago I was 151. Today I am 208. 2 years ago I was 235. 1 year ago I was 169. I'm not as big as I've been, but I'm not where I want to be. 

Last year I was big into CrossFit. I love it. And I miss it. Last March we decided to have a baby. Once that decision had been made it was like something changed inside. I had such a hard time focusing on weightloss and exercise. I mean, why bother? If I got pregnant I'd just gain weight again. I started gaining then quit my job. Then had to quit the gym. It's pretty much been downhill ever since. Gaining and losing 10 pounds at a time. 

I mean, clearly that logic is flawed. I need to be healthy for the baby. That and the fact that it's summer and I can no longer hide what I've done to myself has led me to where I am today. 

I am two days into a new way of thinking. I've long held that if I could only think of food the way I think if alcohol I'd have it made. But how could I do that? I can hardly never eat again the way I'll never drink again. But that's not true, is it? I drink everyday, I just don't drink alcohol. So, can't I eat everyday but just not eat certain things? 

Eating clean. 

I don't know exactly what it entails. But I know what it means to me. 6 meals a day, I was at about 5, but three were big and the other two were very small snacks. Now I'm focused on food groups and good, whole, healthy foods. In the end it's: no eating out, no sweets, no processed foods. There are things I will continue, such as cereal for breakfast. For this I will continue to be diligent about  reading the labels and serving sizes. Also I'm not throwing away what I have on had. So if points allow I'll eat something I have on hand. 

I'm committed to a month. In this month are at least two occasions where I will be unable to avoid eating out, so in these cases I'll have standard meat and unadulterated veggies. 

I can do this. 

I'll start crossfit in the park and mobility WODs. The latter I might start next week. The former will most likely be in 20 pounds. 

Today is day two. So far I feel really good. I've turned down sonic and ice cream sandwiches. I haven't eaten any of the sweets in the house and I opted for avocado, cottage cheese, and fruit instead of bacon. BACON. I kick ass. 

Lunch yesterday:

That avocado thing I just mentioned: